Commentary, Humor

Trash & Toys

12.26.06 | 2 Comments

Well, it’s the day after Christmas and all through the house the creatures created a mountain of trash…and my poetic aspirations are now dead. I never fail to be amazed at exactly how much rubbish is part and parcel to the holiday season. We have many relatives and friends far, far away who have sent us numerous thoughtful items (for which we are very grateful) that generate shipping trash, we ourselves have ordered things that have come from far, far away which also generates shipping trash, then there is the requisite wrapping trash, and finally, the most insidious and indeed, unnecessary trash of all, the toy package trash.

To my knowledge I’ve never met a toy package designer and it’s not likely toy package designers read this blog, but I’ll give it a shot anyway. Toy package designers, hear my plea, get help, fast. It is neither necessary nor helpful to layer a $20 toy with “plastic defense in depth” – it’s the parents you’re killing (i.e. broken toys due to impatient extractions from the mummy-like layers of crap surrounding each toy.) The joy of having to get a knife and clipping shears to even think of freeing Barbie from the evil clutches of her container. Untwisting the 900 wire ties securely lashing My Little Pony to a cardboard backing where the ends of course are buried in superglue adhesive tape. You’d think a Care Bear might be immune, but no, it’s not only twist-tie lashed and plastic wrapped with multiple layers, it’s also vacuum packed.

Aside from the endless aggrevation this packaging madness inflicts on over-tired and over-sugared parents at a time of stress, it’s also the source of 50% of all post-holiday trash. Those layers add up and they can’t be good for the environment. The thing that puzzles me about the toy wrapping phenomena is that you’d think there was something valuable in the package to go to that much effort to prevent easy opening. It’s not about protection of the toy, that’s for sure as it’s very easy to damage them even with patience and care. Oh well, stop the madness. How about a simple box next time? Keep your plastic, vacuum packing, wire ties, and super-glue tape. Free the toys!

13 days until OSU plays for the national championship
Ohio State’s 2006 record: 12-0 Next up: Florida 1/8/2007
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