Humor, Politics

Curious George-isms

01.04.09 | Comment?

Curious George Bush takes a job - and is out of a job thankfully after 8 years of antics and chaos

President Bush hasn’t been good for much over the past 8 years, but he has always been good for a (mis)quote that makes you think you’re watching Adam Sandler as Billy Madison in the role of our fearless leader. At some point, you have to stop and think, how did this moron get elected, twice. It really says something about his competition now doesn’t it?

In any case, the HuffPo put up a list of Bush-isms yesterday, and it’s a doosie. Reminds me of the fact that from about October, 2001 to present, I can’t stand to listen to Bush speak. Reading it is bad enough, but listening to it is impossible. So I’m grateful to be able to read, and not hear, these Bush-isms. Below are some of the best ones with my editorial comments; go read the article for the rest of them.

Via the Huffington Post:

_ “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” _ September 2000, explaining his energy policies at an event in Michigan.

Editor: This explains the energy policy over the past 8 years. Investment in making sure fish and humans can co-exist peacefully. We wouldn’t want the fish-pocalypse….

_ “Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?” _ January 2000, during a campaign event in South Carolina.

Ed: How about our adults?

_ “They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the commander in chief, too.” _ Sept. 26, 2001, in Langley, Va. Bush was referring to the terrorists who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks.

Ed: When he said this the first time I laughed. When he said misunderestimate the second time I thought “maybe it is a word?” When he said it the third time I said “it must be a word, no one would let the president use a manufactured word three times in a televised speech.” I was wrong, they would and they did. It’s not a word.

_ “There’s no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail.” _ Oct. 4, 2001, in Washington. Bush was remarking on a back-to-work plan after the terrorist attacks.

Ed: Speaking the truth inadvertently – perhaps Freudian?

_ “It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber.” _ April 10, 2002, at the White House, as Bush urged Senate passage of a broad ban on cloning.

Ed: I agree. And, it would be a mistake to let any cloning come out of the oval office…

_ “There’s an old saying in Tennessee _ I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee _ that says, fool me once, shame on _ shame on you. Fool me _ you can’t get fooled again.” _ Sept. 17, 2002, in Nashville, Tenn.

Ed: The Who want their royalty now.

_ “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” _ Aug. 5, 2004, at the signing ceremony for a defense spending bill.

Ed: Again with the Freudian slip, George, you’re giving up your true agenda. This would be like Senator Palpatine saying “Sith” instead of “Jedi” while addressing the Senate.

_ “Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.” _ Sept. 6, 2004, at a rally in Poplar Bluff, Mo.

Ed: Anyone think George had an alternate profession in mind?

_ “These are big achievements for this country, and the people of Bulgaria ought to be proud of the achievements that they have achieved.” _ June 11, 2007, in Sofia, Bulgaria.

Ed: Guess George is really Montgomery Burns, you know, providing the “First Annual Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence.”

_ “Thank you, Your Holiness. Awesome speech.” April 16, 2008, at a ceremony welcoming Pope Benedict XVI to the White House.

Ed: I said Happy Gilmore, maybe I meant an odd-cross-cloning between Bill & Ted and Beavis and Butthead….

_ “I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office.” _ June 26, 2008, during a Rose Garden news briefing.

Ed: Guess they’re going to have to dial-up the security posture in the White House, first we’ve got children wandering through and secondly, bands of North Koreans are apparently abducting children there at will. So much for border control and Homeland Security!

_ “This thaw – took a while to thaw, it’s going to take a while to unthaw.” Oct. 20, 2008, in Alexandria, La., as he discussed the economy and frozen credit markets.

Ed: Does he know the difference between freeze and thaw? He must. If not, why not open the windows and give him a blast of cold air to “freeze” him and then let him thaw slowly over an open fire?

Well, I hope that was as entertaining for you as it was for me…we’ve only got 15 more days to get our shots in before the idiot wanders back to his village in Texas.

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