Mr. Dick is not to be confused with James Bond, but certainly was a man on a mission. A mission to rob an 88 year old woman in her home. A mission to complete this crime while naked. A mission foiled when the target of the crime, the aforementioned 88 year old woman, grabbed his balls and yanked hard during the course of the mission. As a consequence of such fierce resistance, Dick fled the scene (I suppose with his original package.)

To add insult to injury, he was apprehended by the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office and we discover that his name is, Michael Gordon Dick. A now failed, naked robber.

Truth is stranger than fiction. You just can’t make this stuff up…..Bail was set at $104,000.

HT: Rob