When my daughter was born in 2003, I was lucky in making a decision that has had an interesting impact thus far in her short life. That decision was that I wouldn’t buy her toys (aka plastic crap,) instead, I would attempt to provide her with interesting experiences. The rationale I had for the decision at the time was that since she was the first grandchild on one side of the family and the youngest on the other side, that the collective family attention would result in no shortage of material objects during special events (boy, was that right!) But the material overload reason is the least of the benefits by far, so it was simply lucky to decide this early on since the other more important bits escaped me at the time.

A reason I didn’t quite understand then, but I am coming to understand now, is just the time spent going to a favorite spot (Exploratorium, SF Zoo, Monterey Bay Aquarium, or Moss Beach Park) is as important, if not more important than the event/experience itself. Sure, I still hear about the giant robot giraffe that would coo when pet we visited at the Maker Faire earlier this year and she’s very excited to attend a rodeo at the Driscoll Ranch this weekend, but the uninterrupted time away from home and distractions allows for interactions that wouldn’t otherwise occur.

For example, recently while on an “adventure” my daughter gave me a complete run down on the snakes of the world. She talked about the difference between vipers and constrictors and asked numerous questions about different kinds of snakes and how to behave if one encounters a snake. She’s very impressed with cobras and pythons at present. She proceeded to tell me that snakes start with the letter ‘s’ and wanted to know how to spell the whole word. We passed a deer crossing sign on the road and she asked if snakes crossed the road and if there were snake crossing signs. She then talked about how pythons could eat small deer, but she wonder how they ‘got the antlers off’ to swallow the deer. I’m convinced that this kind of exchange doesn’t happen at home that frequently because there are too many other distractions, but being out and about allows it to come to the surface and blossom.

If you have children and have any inclination, try the experiences vs. stuff approach. The experience doesn’t have to cost money (park, tidepools, hikes, visiting farm animals, etc.) and the quality time is irreplaceable.