Attribution: Wellington Grey

In an earlier entry the chart above was offered as conclusive evidence that lack of pirates is causing global warming. However, in a stunning announcement to the world, Somalia is now leading the fight against climate change with the introduction of a whole new generation of pirates.

Via CNN:

Over the weekend, gunmen aboard two skiffs hijacked the Panamanian-flagged Golden Mori off the Socotra archipelago near the Horn of Africa, said Andrew Mwangura, a spokesman for the Kenyan-based Seafarers’ Assistance Program.

…

In May, a U.S. Navy advisory warned merchant ships to stay at least 200 miles off the Somali coast. But the U.S. Maritime Administration said pirates sometimes issue false distress calls to lure ships closer to shore.

The pirates often are armed with automatic rifles and shoulder-fired rockets, according to a recent warning from the agency.

“To date, vessels that increase speed and take evasive maneuvers avoid boarding, while those that slow down are boarded, taken to the Somali coastline and released after successful ransom payment, often after protracted negotiations of as much as 11 weeks,” the warning advised.

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According to an confidential source in the transitional Somali government:

Somalia is pleased to be able to demonstrate leadership during this global crisis. It’s clear that traditional powers are ignoring the problem and have completely missed the correlation of pirate population to average ambient temperature. Our leadership believes that only through bold action can we effect a change in this matter thus we are launching ever increasing pirate raids in an attempt to forestall further damage. Despite our challenges as a country, if we can take such an active leadership role we expect the first world countries can respond in kind and follow our lead. Like with Kyoto, it’s clear that the United States will block any action to change the situation as they attempt to thwart our piracy actions.

[Note: This is a joke.]

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