Heck, I’m a pretty entrepreneurial guy, I’ve got good ideas all the time. But this one escaped…..thankfully, someone else made it real. What could be such a good business idea that I wouldn’t want to let it get away?
Imagine a huge customer base, a customer base that has real difficulty separating reality from fiction, a customer base so absolutely sure of themselves, despite that reality problem, that they have a superiority streak that causes them to want to spread their views to everyone else. Imagine a customer base so convinced, they’ll want to communicate how right they were to anyone and everyone who ever disagreed with them. If you think I’m talking about the religious masses, you’re right!
The product? Post Rapture Post Cards from the Saved.
It’s really brilliant, say you want to send a message to a smart-ass like me who points at you and laughs when you talk about the second coming and your planned ascension into paradise. Now, courtesy of a very friendly and helpful atheist, you can be assured your message is delivered after the big event. That’s right, for a small fee, much smaller than a standard tithe, you can be assured that every non-believer will have tangible proof of your superiority and their pending future wasting away in hell.
Aside from the obvious smug message, there are also some practical uses including: post-rapture pet care, counseling for the damned, last minute expressions of love and sympathy, and many, many, more. Prices range from $4.99 for a Class I, 1,500 character message to $799: “Your message of up to 3,000 characters is hand-scribed on medieval style parchment sheets, and then rolled and wrapped with a fine Italian ribbon. The Class III message is delivered immediately after the Rapture, so expect delivery in as little as one day, depending on the transportation options available to those rejected from the Kingdom of God.”
My hat is off to you Post Rapture Post, you’ve cracked the code on how to fleece the faithful in a perfectly crafted service that, unlike their own religious organizations, is not in the least bit deceitful. BTW, do you have an affiliate program? (Just kidding, this site has gone non-commercial…)
