Just in case anyone thinks we shouldn’t invest in schools….
This has been floating around the “internets” for some time, it made its way back to my inbox again (HT: Josh) this week and made me smile again. So, in the case you haven’t seen it and laughed, here’s your shot. If you have, perhaps it will bring a small smile back reminding you of the first time you read it. FYI, Dr. Laura (pictured right, breaking the “Lord’s Laws”) is an odious personality who espouses religious ethics in a pop-psychology call in show.
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
If you haven’t heard of Mint, then you’re likely not a geek. Mint is a refreshingly useful internet service that enables one to aggregate all of their financial information into one place. It snags transactions from your bank, credit card, investment, loan accounts, and physical assets then categorizes them, and then provides useful insight into your financial habits and helpfully shows things you can do to manage your money more effectively. It also has a handy budgeting tool and offers proactive notifications to your mobile devices of untoward or risky activities that show up across your accounts.
Mint has been in the news lately because some entrenched players (ahem, Intuit) are accusing Mint of overstating their user adoption. You can read the brouhaha at any of the usual fish wrappers around the ‘net. It’s interesting, because I while I will admit to being a little reluctant to place my data in a single web provider, the value exceeds the risk. And, when I really thought about it, the fact that I manage these accounts online anyway, what is the real additional risk? This is a read only service, you can’t move money around for instance.
So, if laboriously managing your financial tool (ala Quicken) isn’t for you, and you’d like a tool that does the work and shows you in a non-obtrusive way how you might be more effective in managing your finances, give Mint a whirl. I like it, a lot. And as for their user counts, I tend to believe Mint because the service is free to end-users, it works, and it’s actually useful. That’s a rare combination these days.