For those of you unfamiliar with the Darwin Awards, they are bestowed annually to the human who manages to kill themselves in the most spectacularly stupid way possible. Watch the video above. Fuel, heat, old parts spinning at speeds that would create impressive shrapnel…it’s got all the ingredients. Setting that aside, it is amazing what one can do with an old turbocharger…

A recent Darwin nominee…

(24 June 2007, Colorado) If you get “Footloose” and cut the rug on on an oil tank, be sure not to light a cigarette (or bong of weed) else you may soon be walking up the proverbial “Stairway to Heaven”.
News reports say a crude oil storage tank exploded as two teens were jumping on it, hurling the youths to their deaths. The tank, owned by Pinnacle Oil Company, exploded during a party in Routt National Forest. The victims were identified as Samuel and Christopher, 17 and 19.

After smoking marijuana and liquoring themselves up at this “popular party spot,” the “Footloose” teens decided that it would be fun to leap and cavort upon a mostly-empty oil tank. Their energetic “Saturday Night Fever” gyrations caused fumes to leak from the relief valve…

“There were several ignitions sources,” according to Rio Blanco County Undersheriff Michael Joos. One teenager was smoking, and there was a bonfire nearby. One or another of these “ignition sources” sparked a flashdance that sent the two teens hurtling 150 yards away from the explosion.

So let’s go over the Check Points, aka The Rules:

1. Reproduction: at 17 and 19, they weren’t married, nor had they reproduced, nor can they now reproduce. Check!
2. Excellence: They thought it was wise to jump up and down on an oil tank containing 160 barrels of crude oil, while stoned out of their gourds. Check!
3. Self Selection: These two were stoned insensible, and drunker then the town drunk, while dancing on a oil tank exuding flammable vapors. And there’s a campfire nearby. Check!
4. Maturity: At 17 and 19, both are over the minimum age of 16. Check!
5. Veracity: MSNBC.com and AP. Big check.

In the end, this was definitely a “Footloose” dance that turned into a “Flash*BOOM*Dance!

This is the first in a weekly series I intend to post reviewing the most recent weekend of college football. It will focus on opponents of the Buckeyes, but will have commentary and observation from around NCAA football as well. So let’s get started.

Opponent Watch

• Youngstown State (0-1) – See game review posted yesterday. Conclusion: Expected Win
• Akron (1-0) – Played Army on a neutral site in Cleveland, won 22-14. Conclusion: Expected Win
• Washington (1-0) – Played Syracuse away, at night and won 42-12. Conclusion: Convincing Win
• Northwestern (1-0) – Played Northeastern at home, won 27-0. Conclusion: Expected Win
• Minnesota (0-1) – Played Bowling Green at home, lost 32-31 in overtime. Came back from 21 points down. Conclusion: Heartbreaking Loss
• Purdue (1-0) – Played Toledo away, won 52-24. Conclusion: Good Win
• Kent State (1-0) – Played Iowa State away, won 23-14. Conclusion: Quality Win
• Michigan State (1-0) – Played University of Alabama Birmingham at home, won 55-18. Conclusion: Expected Win
• Penn State (1-0) – Played Florida International at home, won 59-0. Conclusion: Expected Win
• Wisconsin (1-0) – Played Washington State at home, won 42-21. Conclusion: Quality Win
• Illinois (0-1) – Played Missouri at a neutral site, lost 40-34. Conclusion: Loss with dignity – Illinois is much improved and would have won this game with one less turnover.
• Michigan (0-1) – Played reigning Division I-AA Champs Appalachian State, lost 34-32. It’s September 1 and Michigan has already dropped out of the MNC race. Michigan cannot be allowed to win the Big 10 now on general principal. The players who stayed to win a championship must be thinking about those fat NFL paychecks now…An unbelievable collapse – UM’s 2nd and 3rd stringers should have been able to beat ASU. Conclusion: Humiliating Loss that will be discussed all season and beyond.

Buckeye opponent’s record after the first week, 8-4. As it stands now, I would say either Wisconsin or Penn State have to be the favorites to win the Big 10. I don’t think OSU beats either based on observations to date. Teams do improve over the course of the season, so I expect that this may change from week to week. But right now, I’m calling Wisconsin the heavy favorite to win and the only BCS rep from the Big 10 this year.

Quick Hits from Around College Football

Division III Champion Mount Union carried on where it left off last year, scoring 52 points in the first quarter to set a new single quarter scoring record. They won 75-7 over Averett…

Teams that look like MNC contenders from week 1: LSU, Louisville, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Oklahoma, California, and USC.

The jury is out on these teams who are technically still in the running, but their week one play leaves room for doubt: Texas, Virginia Tech, Arkansas, and Auburn.

These teams stand virtually no chance of contending for the MNC, but still looked good in week one: Rutgers, Cincinnati, Boise St, Connecticut, Nebraska, Georgia Tech, TCU, Texas A&M, Alabama, Arizona St, and Hawaii.

The season is over for these teams in the first week: Michigan (see above), Notre Dame (this is what happens when the defense AND offense suck), Stanford (no improvement under Harbaugh), and Syracuse (no improvement from prior years).

Game of the week, Bowling Green’s win in OT over Minnesota. The Gophers rallied from 21 down to tie the game. Each team traded field goals in the final minute to tie it up at 24. In the first possession of OT, Minnesota scores fast and kicks the PAT. In the second possession of OT, Bowling Green scores fast and elects to attempt a 2 point conversion, which was good for the win.

Non-football comment for this edition, the Virginia Tech mass murder was a tragedy and was horrible. But it had nothing to do with football. Let’s stop talking about it now and get on with the season.

In the coming week I’ll post an Akron/OSU preview, a game review of Akron/OSU, and a Weekend Update Sports edition.

Brian Robiskie had 9 catches for 153 yards

Photo Credit: Bucknuts


No one really expected that YSU would give the Buckeyes much of a challenge. Then again, no one expected Appalachian State to beat the Skunkbears…..but I digress. In the preview of this game last week, I predicted at 37-16 win for Ohio State. It would appear the defense over achived relative to my expectations.

The Good

• Todd Boeckman’s debut – 17/23 for 222 yards and 2 TDs, 2 sacks for -17 yards, 1 fumble lost (on the Offensive Line from a blindside shot.)
• Only one sustained drive for YSU leading to 3 points, one short field off a turnover, again YSU held to 3 points.
• Special teams were sharp, all phases of the kicking and return games looked good.
• The team looked sharper than I expected, YSU never gave up and played a good game.
• For all of the complaints about recruiting last year, the Freshman showed up! Dane Sanzenbacher, Taurian Washington, and Brandon Saine all scored touchdowns in their first game for the Bucks.
• It’s said that the biggest improvement is made between weeks 1 and 2 for college football – there are certainly some lessons to be learned from this game.
• The Big 10 Network is a hit on the West coast, I can now see the games I couldn’t see before (like OSU/YSU!)
• Ohio State won the game!

The Bad

• Red zone running. With all due respect to YSU who played their hearts out, their D Line isn’t anything like what OSU will see later in the year. If the Bucks are having difficulty picking up a couple of yards against YSU, they’ll get stopped stone cold against competition later in the year.
• The Offensive Line was offensive in the first half in particular on run blocking. Though for the most part, pass protection was good excepting the blindside hit on Boeckman leading to 3 YSU points.
• Penalties. Nine of them for 48 yards. The yardage wasn’t so bad, but nine penalties signals to me that the team is not yet in sync. Shame on you Dionte Johnson for two false starts – you’re a captain!
• Beanie Wells did not show well in this game, aside from one 20 yard scramble in the second half, he’s not looking like the same back we saw last year. Now is this offensive line play? Is it the time missed in the Spring Game and Fall Scimmage due to injury? Who knows, but Beanie is going to need to regain form for OSU to have a winning year.
• It’s hard to call a defensive performance “bad” when the opponent scores on 6 points and is held below 100 yards in the passing and 100 yards in the running game. But the defense looked a little flat – particularly on the 81 yard drive YSU put together mid-second quarter resulting in 3 points.

The Ugly

• Defensive end Lawrence Wilson broke his right leg in the first half. Given that the D line is inexperienced and not as deep as perhaps many would like, this is extremely bad news.
• The Big 10 network didn’t get deals done with the big cable operators in the midwest, thus many did not see the Buckeyes play and win.
• Michigan’s loss to I-AA Appalachian State. Congrats Mountaineers, but this isn’t good for the B10, Michigan, or Ohio State. For general purposes I want all Buckeye opponents to win when not playing OSU to create a good strength of schedule. Losing to ASU is not going to help. Now, no matter what, Michigan must be prevented from winning a B10 championship. Given their fragile mental state and performance of their defense, I’ll call for PSU, MSU, Wisconsin, and OSU to beat them this year. I think they fold their tents and go home.

Well, that’s it for this post-game report. I’ll post another entry tomorrow on how all the Buckeyes opponents faired tomorrow. GO BUCKS!

Who can forget the Amp that goes to 11?



This will teach them to drive a dirty car



OK, so this one isn’t funny – but it’s interesting graffiti



I guess this is what you get for the man who has everything



This one is self explanatory…


Update: I know humerous is mispelled – it should be humorous in this context. However, my spelling error has propagated and I’m just going to live with it…

U-Dub back Rankin rips through the Orange


Since the University of Washington is a future Buckeye opponent, I took some time to watch the game last night. Washington and Syracuse have fallen on hard times relative to their past performances. If last night was any indication, Washington may be on its way back and Syracuse, well, is still playing badly. Washington rolled up over 450 yards on them, 300 on the ground. The game was not as close as the score would indicate, 42-12 – it was actually much worse.

Temple, another perenial punching bag, was hung out to dry by the Midshipmen last night in the other game. Today, the real season starts, can’t wait to see those Buckeyes in action!