{"id":1099,"date":"2008-05-01T08:16:17","date_gmt":"2008-05-01T15:16:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/montaraventures.com\/blog\/?p=1099"},"modified":"2008-05-01T10:20:30","modified_gmt":"2008-05-01T17:20:30","slug":"get-into-heaven-guaranteed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/montaraventures.com\/blog\/2008\/05\/01\/get-into-heaven-guaranteed\/","title":{"rendered":"Get into Heaven: Guaranteed"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Do you want to secure your trip through the Pearly Gates? Don&#8217;t want to leave anything to chance? Well, then, can I point you to a deal&#8230;<br \/>\n<br \/>\n<center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/montaraventures.com\/blog\/wp-content\/2008\/05\/rasih-flowchart.jpg\" alt=\"Your place in heaven, guaranteed!\" \/><\/center><br \/>\n<br \/>\nReserve a Spot in Heaven has made a deal with the diety in charge and is now authorized to provide two packages to guarantee your spot: Essential Travel Kit available for only $12.79 and All-Access Travel Kit for a mere $15.95. Prices like this can&#8217;t last, <a href=\"https:\/\/reserveaspotinheaven.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" >reserve your spot in heaven now!<\/a><br \/>\n<br \/>\nYou have to admit that it&#8217;s a really good deal &#8211; no more tedious praying on knees, you get Sunday mornings back, and you can keep that 10% of your wages used by spiritual readers for their fancy rides and &#8220;private parties.&#8221; Heck, you could even use that money to do something like help the hungry have meals or to educate people. Getting to heaven has never been easier or cheaper.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nAnd, if you know someone who really shouldn&#8217;t gain entry to paradise, there is a companion service: <a href=\"https:\/\/reserveaspotinhell.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" >Reserve a Spot in Hell<\/a>. It&#8217;s for that special someone you&#8217;d like to damn for eternity &#8211; easy, convenient, cheap, and guaranteed. There are similar packages available for a limited time.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nAct now!<br \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you want to secure your trip through the Pearly Gates? Don&#8217;t want to leave anything to chance? Well, then, can I point you to a deal&#8230; Reserve a Spot in Heaven has made a deal with the diety in charge and is now authorized to provide two packages to guarantee your spot: Essential Travel [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/montaraventures.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1099"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/montaraventures.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/montaraventures.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/montaraventures.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/montaraventures.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1099"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/montaraventures.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1099\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/montaraventures.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1099"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/montaraventures.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1099"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/montaraventures.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1099"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}