This entry has been brewing for some time in my head and an incident at my present office environment prompted me to actually write it; though it’s not specifically about my present office environment, it’s more a melange of experiences through my lifetime.

It’s difficult to imagine that there are many more unpleasant daily destinations than a men’s toilet. Even so, there is a hierarchy of men’s toilets. Gas stations, rest areas, and public parks have to rank at the bottom (so to speak) and five-star hotels have to rank at the top. In between, we find the ubiquitous office john which, in my experience, range in cleanliness and convenience between a hole in the ground park loo and the five-star hotel. The difference? The people inhabiting the building!

So here’s my set of pet peeves:

• Lack of Accuracy – Guys, I mean come on, how hard is it to hit the toilet? Apparently, it’s a challenge given the residue on the walls, floor, and fixtures. Eeewww. Does your home toilet look like this?
• Trash in Toilet – Even the skankiest of men’s rooms has a trash can. Why do cigarette butts, beer bottles, candy wrappers, condoms, newspapers, and other associated non-human waste or toilet paper items end up in the toilet? Is it too much of a stretch to deposit these items in the garbage? Apparently so.
• Mismanaged Reading Material – Every man knows it’s best to visit the can with some entertainment and that it’s a thoughtful thing to do to stock it with relevant reading material. Does the storage area have to be on the floor?
• Food in Toilet – Do I even need to say more than the title of this one? This room is designed for the other side of food processing, not eating!
• Phones in Toilet – Hey, I understand multi-tasking, I do it constantly, but is it really necessary to carry on your phone conversation while taking care of business? It’s not like you’re the only person there (other interesting sounds in background) and some of the things you talk about, cheating on wives, proprietary company information, etc. Puh-leeeze.
• Stale Bowl – There’s this little lever or button on all commodes, is it really that difficult to press or pull it to leave a fresh, (relatively) clean bowl for the next patron? Oh yeah, if it didn’t go down the first time, try, try again. While we’re at it, ever heard of a mercy flush, that’s a good practice in a shared space….
• Hand (head, and body) washing – The men’s room isn’t generally a shower in the work environment, but you wouldn’t know it from the level of moisture in and around the sinks. It looks like 1,000 monkeys taking shredded paper towel aided sponge baths. The faucet, soap, counter, and floor are covered with water and paper towel bits.
• Maintenance – When the toilet is broken, supplies are exhausted, or the men’s room is thrashed, why not get some maintenance? I walked into a men’s room recently where the toilet was overflowing and guys were walking in and out simply ignoring it. What’s that about? All offices have facilities, call them!

And yes, I have seen each of these activities and objects in the workplace over the past 25 years. Alright, anyone want to give their pet peeves on the Ladies Lounge? I feel better having written this, even knowing nothing will change…